Useful Tips

How to learn to think positively?


A person who seeks to develop positive thinking in himself, on his way can meet many traps, obstacles and pitfalls. Therefore, if you are wondering how to learn to think positively, I recommend you read this article. This will help you avoid possible difficulties. After all, if warned - it means armed!

It is worth saying that most often people cannot learn to think positively when they do not understand the essence of this ability well enough. That is why in my previous article I described in detail the signs of positive thinking.

In today's article, we will continue this topic, but from a slightly different angle. In part, I will repeat what was already said in the previous article, but in other words and with other examples. I repeat myself intentionally. I really want you to clearly understand for yourself what mistakes should be avoided, and in which direction you need to move in starting practical exercises on the formation of positive thinking.
So, we turn to possible traps.

Trap No. 1. An attempt by force of will to force oneself to think positively.
Example. Nikolay is in the process of finding work, and his inner voice constantly whispers to him: “You are a loser and you are nothing. You cannot find a normal job. ” But our Nikolai strives to think positively, therefore, as a mantra, he constantly repeats to himself: “I am a successful professional, I have enough abilities and opportunities to find myself a good job.” And the question is: will the inner voice be quiet from repeating such a mantra? Will he stop repeating his own? Not! At some point, Nikolai may find that his desire to think positively does not lead to anything.

Another possible scenario is as follows. For a while, Nikolai can manage to drown out his negative thoughts, fully focusing on his goal, actively inspiring himself with the idea of ​​his own success. It can even help him get a good job. But what next? As soon as Nikolay relaxes, his inner voice will again become more active, throwing, for example, such thoughts: “Of course, you got a good job, but this is some kind of accident. You’re out of place, so you may well be fired. ”

So, an attempt to fight your negative thoughts, try to suppress them in most cases is a rather futile exercise. It either does not lead to anything, or negative thoughts can disappear for a while, then appearing again at the first opportunity. It turns out that a person is in constant tension, a constant struggle with himself.

What to do with negative thoughts? How to exchange them for positive, if the effort of the will does not work? I will write about it. Stay tuned for updates on my site!

Trap number 2. Failure to use the beneficial function of negative thoughts.
Negative thought can not only harm. Often, she also helps her owner in something, although he does not even suspect it. Surprised? Let's take a look at this as an example.

Suppose that Mary is often visited by negative thoughts of the following type: "People cannot be trusted." And she lives with such thoughts, keeping no one close to herself, treating everyone she meets with suspicion and rejection. But at some point, Maria begins to realize that her loneliness, from which she, by the way, suffers a lot, is connected with her negative way of thinking. Therefore, Maria decides that it is time to change, and tries to inspire herself with a positive thought: "I trust people."

We have already talked about the fact that just like that, by an effort of will, replacing a negative thought with a positive one will not work. But suppose Mary succeeded in temporarily drowning out her negative thoughts. What is the outcome? The following developments are very likely. Maria begins to trust everyone indiscriminately, and in the end she faces the fact that she is being deceived.

That is, a negative thought protected Mary from deception on the part of other people, and this was her useful function. The ability to check which of the people is worthy of trust and which is not is the whole art that a person learns as experience accumulates. Maria does not have such a skill. She never had an incentive to develop it, since a total distrust fully protected her.

It is worth saying that almost any negative thought has its own useful function. Actually, this is one of the reasons why it is so difficult to influence negative thinking. Our psyche is very wise and hinders the brutal attempt to force those thoughts that are useful to it from the mind.

There will be a separate article on how to learn to see the benefit hidden in negative thoughts, to extract it, while transforming thoughts into positive ones.

Trap number 3. Inability to see objective difficulties.
Suppose I decide to cross the Bering Strait. On this occasion, I may have thoughts: “You are crazy! You will not make it! Do not even try!"

These kinds of thoughts are easy to confuse with negative ones. I can decide: my thoughts limit me, deprive me of self-confidence! Therefore, I will reformulate them in a positive way, it seems to me, and I will constantly repeat it as a mantra: “I am full of strength and energy. "I can easily and naturally cross the Bering Strait, enjoying the unspeakable pleasure of such a boat trip." But the thought that you should not try to overcome 86 km., If you can only swim like a dog, I will not pay attention.

My example is exaggerated, with obviously stupid logic. But life often presents us with situations where everything is not so obvious. And then it is very important not to break away from reality and be able to distinguish negative thoughts from objectively existing difficulties.

Trap No. 4. Belief in magical changes without any personal effort.
Suppose that I abandoned the idea of ​​defeating the Bering Strait and decided that for a start it is worth learning to swim. And here I am sitting on the couch in the lotus position, tuning in to positive and holding myself like a mantra: “I am swimming beautifully! I feel like a fish in the water! I can easily and easily swim any distance! ”Of course, if I sign up for the pool and regularly go to workouts, my attitude will help me. But the problem is that very often for some reason it seems to people that it is not necessary to go to the pool, it is enough to repeat the mantra.

I judge this by information that can be found on the Internet. Just look a little and you will see a huge amount of meditation and affirmations to attract happiness, love, money, etc. I give a good example. On one site, of which there are thousands, I found the following affirmations for attracting money:
• Money flows easily to me.
• I am a magnet for money, and money is a magnet for me.
• My income is growing all the time.
It is believed that if you introduce these statements into your mind, money will flow to you like a river. In part, I can even agree with that. But only partially! After all, in order to attract wealth into your life, you also need to do something else. Of course there are situations with a win in the lottery, but I do not think that counting on them only is far-sighted. Moreover, even to win the lottery you need to take action and buy a ticket.

Why do positive thoughts affect reality? Because they are capable of:
• change the internal state,
• inspire action,
• help to give birth to new ideas,
• help to see in the situation new ways that until now were not visible.
And through such changes, positive thoughts change our reality.

Many people believe that positive thoughts can draw desired events into our lives. I also believe in this, because from my own experience I have seen many times how, for completely inexplicable reasons, life events suddenly develop in the most successful way, if you set yourself up correctly. However, even with a successful combination of circumstances, a lot depends on ourselves: it is important to timely see the opportunities that have arisen, correctly respond to the situation, and use the chances that we have had.

It is very important not to expect that something will change magically from a change in the way of thinking, but to observe and monitor what internal transformations are taking place in connection with changes in thinking. If you go in the right direction and do everything right, then such transformations will certainly occur: internal mood, emotions, behavior, perception of the situation, etc. can change. If you have been trying for a long time to change the way you think, and at the same time do not feel any visible internal changes, you should not expect changes in external reality. Better think about whether you are moving in the right direction. It might be worth changing something in your tactics.

Trap No. 5. Use positive thinking to achieve empty goals.
I really like M. Bulgakov's quote: "Be careful with your desires - they tend to come true." Remember yourself a few years ago. Remember what you dreamed about, what you wanted. Is everything that seemed important to you back then still valuable?

Often people strive for something that, in fact, is not of particular value to them. At the same time, focusing on achieving the goal, there is a risk of stopping seeing many other opportunities for applying your strength and energy, other ways that you can go.

In order not to be in this situation, often ask yourself the following questions. What do I really want? Will the achievement of my goal bring me happiness? What other ways could I go? Why did I choose this path?
These are the questions you can ask yourself right now. But actually, the topic of recognizing one’s true goals is rather complicated, and a separate article will be devoted to it. Stay tuned for updates on my site!

Trap No. 6. Avoiding your true feelings and emotions.
Such leaving looks approximately as follows. Suppose a person is very upset by something, and he has serious reasons for this. And now he is sad, worried, and then suddenly remembers that he needs to think positively. Our hero begins to do his best to cultivate a positive perception of the world, actively inspiring himself with the idea that life is beautiful and amazing.

We already discussed a similar example when we sorted trap No. 1. Therefore, the futility of trying to force yourself to think positively, I think, is clear to you. But now I want to draw your attention to another aspect of such actions.

The fact is that, in trying to impose positive thoughts on himself, a person, on top of everything else, leaves his true feelings. In the given example, a person leaves his sadness, tries not to notice it. This is a very dangerous and destructive approach to your emotions, which can only temporarily distract from tormenting experiences, and in the long run can cause emotional problems. About why it is important to treat any emotion with attention and in no case try to get rid of it by an effort of will, read here.

Reading the article, you probably already understood that it is far from always the thought, which at first glance seems positive, really is. The converse is also true. Not all negative thoughts are actually so negative. Read about how to distinguish a positive thought from a negative thought in my next article.